We often slapped our foreheads and exclaimed "stupid gaigin" when we had done something particularly clumsy, inept or foolish. In the course of our ownor others faux pas on Japanese soil, we developed the following list of stupid gaigin tricks, never to be repeated. BTW (by the way, for those uninitiated in 'Net lingo), "gaigin" literally means "outside person."
1) Charging into a house, ryokan or across a tatami (straw mat) while shod in hobnail boots, golf shoes, stiletto high heels, or for that matter any kind of shoe, boot or sandal.
The clue, gaigin, is that in front of the door you will see everyone's shoes lined up neatly, or placed in convenient shelves in public places such as museums. Usually you will be provided slippers, except in George's case where the slippers of Japan covered only his toes. In many homes you will also find another set of slippers reserved for the bathroom.
2) The bathtub is for meditation and relaxation, not a place to get clean. Don't use soap in the bathtub; or worse yet, let the water out!
The cleaning phase of bathing in Japanese households and ryokans is done on little stools outside the tub (the floors are tile or wood lattice and have drains in them). You are provided buckets, soaps and hand-held showers to clean yourself. After you are squeaky clean, you then enter the warm tub for a relaxing soak. Everyone uses the same tub, but the order of who goes first is determined by the household, usually guests first followed by heads of household.
The Japanese hold a special reverence for their relaxing times in the tub. It's where poetry can be written or the day's ills forgotten. It doesn't help having a dumb gaigin mess up the event.
3) Thinking that the language barrier can be overcome by talking louder.
By some quirk of nature, evolution and geography, people in Japan speak Japanese. Since few people speak English, and far fewer gaigin speak Japanese, communication problems that verge on the hilarious often happen. Contrary to common sense, when trying to converse with any non-English speaking people, when you realize they haven't got a clue what you're saying, it does not help to yell louder as if this will help them understand.
4) Blowing your cool.
The Japanese are courteous and cool, and they dislike or get easily embarrassed by confrontation or Irish tempers. Chill out, dude.
5) Going to anyone's home empty handed.
While Americans are used to bringing small gifts when visiting, we are not used to the almost religious implications of this ritual in Japanese society. The act of giving gifts is solemn and speaks volumes. We have seldom met such generous people, and a little reciprocity is just fine.
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